These reports lead us to ask: Can we do anything to reverse these trends? How can we encourage busy, sometimes unmotivated people to build faith within their families? How can we continue to make our communities welcoming to new generations of Catholic adults?

Over the years, I have been an advocate for parish-based, spiritually rich marriage preparation as a way to invite young adults into the life of the church. Even if a couple has been separated from the church, they can connect to a vibrant faith community through marriage preparation sessions and rituals. As important as it can be as an evangelization tool, however, even the best marriage preparation is not a magic bullet. When couples are consumed with wedding preparations, even the most faithful may not appreciate fully the sacred in their relationship, regardless of how inspiring their marriage preparation might be. Sadly, we all have experienced couples who politely sit through our programs, walk down the aisle, and never return. Despite this reality, most of us continue to search for new ways to reach out to the engaged in our communities.

Perhaps it is time to ask a further question: At what other points in the life cycle can we reach out to invite couples into a faith that supports their life together? For many, these opportunities arise at times of sacramental preparation for their children, because even if they do not participate regularly in their parish community, parents do want their children to celebrate sacraments. Sacramental preparation becomes a chance to reach out to parents and provide support for their faith as well as their children’s. Let us start with infant Baptism. By preparing parents for this sacrament it becomes a time of adult faith formation and support for married life.

Despite the fact that parishes and dioceses offer many programs to support marriages, it does not appear that many make the link between Baptism preparation for infants and faith support for their parents. An informal survey of diocesan and parish websites throughout the U.S. revealed that few websites had much information about parent preparation for infant Baptism; those that did specified minimal requirements – an hour-long meeting, a DVD presentation, registering in the parish etc. Rarely do published resources indicate a connection between infant Baptism preparation and parent spirituality. While looking at websites is not necessarily the best way to get an in-depth perspective on a parish or diocese, it does give us a glimpse into its workings.

Why focus on Baptism preparation?

When a family welcomes a child, they may be more open to exploring spirituality than they were at the time of their marriage celebration. Instead of focusing on the trappings of one fabulous day, most parents awaiting the birth or adoption of a child concentrate on more meaningful questions: How does this child become a part of our family? What does it mean for us to continue growing as a family with this child? How can we develop as a family of faith? Through Baptism preparation, we have the chance to help parents see that God always can be at the center of their family lives. What a great opportunity! Further- more, when we welcome children into the church for Baptism, we can gently encourage their parents to share more deeply in the mystery of their relationship – of two becoming one to build a family of faith. Baptism preparation ministers, therefore, are invited not only to educate about Baptism, but to draw couples more deeply into the richness of their Catholic faith traditions.

How can we accomplish these goals?

Experience shows that the RCIA provides an outstanding framework for nurturing adults on their faith journey. It also can provide a model for other sacramental preparation, including Marriage or parent Baptism preparation. In the RCIA, the primary evangelization tool is faith sharing, rooted in scripture. Of course, there is never a perfect correlation between the RCIA and other sacramental preparation programs modeled on it. The primary reason is that in the RCIA, people come freely to declare their faith in Christ as members of the Catholic community. With other sacramental preparation, including Marriage or infant Baptism, persons sometimes do not come freely, but because they are required to do so if they want to “get a sacrament.” The task of ministers is to find ways to move beyond this perception to take full advantage of the RCIA as an evangelization tool.

A simple strategy for implementing a brief RCIA-style process for parent Baptism preparation is to invite a small group of couples to come together for three meetings:
1. a session focused on the spirituality of Baptism and how it connects with the life of a faithful family,
2. a prayer and blessing within the community, and
3. a session that draws parents into the ritual of Baptism.

The preparation should take into account the time constraints of families. For example, Sunday mornings may be more convenient than evenings or families with infants and young children.

The Process:

The first session should take place several months before the Baptism, even if this is before a baby is born. Parents might begin by reflecting on bringing new life into a family through the use of scriptures such as Lk 2: 1-19 or Mt 1:18-25 (the birth of Jesus) or Psalm 139. Encourage the parents simply to share a brief reflection on what the passage means to them at this stage of their lives. Also invite them to consider the impact of a child on their relationship – does Mary and Joseph’s experience speak to them at this stage of their life? Does Psalm 139 remind them that they have the awesome responsibility and privilege of co-creating life with God? Assure them that the parish wishes to walk with them as they prepare for their child’s Baptism.

For the second session, invite families to Sunday liturgy to be presented to the community. They can be introduced at the liturgy they usually attend, or a parish-designated liturgy. The parents and their children can be welcomed and prayed for in the midst of the community, just as catechumens and candidates are welcomed and supported during the period of preparation for adult initiation. Siblings can be a part of this celebration as well. Families can get a strong sense of the parish’s commitment to them as they take this important step in faith. The parish might conclude the liturgy with hospitality to welcome families and their children.

The third session focuses on the Baptism ritual and how it connects with faith-filled family life. For example:

There is a similarity between the water bath of Baptism and the bathing of children in the home. How do these actions of loving care in the church community and the home connect with each other?

Anointing a child with fragrant oil reminds us of the joy permeating a home when a child becomes a part of the family. How does the atmosphere of a community or a home change with a new child?

The white baptismal garment is a powerful reminder that parents are called to clothe their children in all that is good. Just as we take great care to clothe our children to protect them from the elements of the seasons, the church takes care to clothe our children with the love of Christ that will be nurtured on a continuing basis.

The baptismal candle reveals the light of Christ, present in the church community, in the love between parents and children, and in the parents’ relationship with each other. How do we keep the light of Christ burning brightly in our parishes and in the hearts of all family members?

For some parents, Baptism preparation may be challenging because of circumstances such as an irregular marriage or a single parent family. This is another opportunity, as with marriage preparation for cohabiting couples, where we can accept people as they are and help them take another step in faith. The time of infant Baptism preparation may be the beginning of a welcoming process for parents who have been distant from the Church.

If families are prepared using this three-session approach, they may be more likely to desire Baptism for their children in the midst of the community’s liturgy. Consider ways of incorporating infant Baptism at Sunday Eucharistic celebrations. All the liturgical documents emphasize that Baptism at a Sunday liturgy is the ideal. The circumstances of an individual parish, however, may require another approach outside of Sunday liturgies. Using good pastoral judgment will determine what works best for families and local parish communities.

Finally, invite families to continue being active members of the parish community. Integrate them into existing ministries and programs – and encourage them to participate in manageable ways. Even a small amount of time, once or twice a month, can make a difference in a parish.

In addition, create follow-up programs to support the marriage commitment of couples with young children. For these to succeed, it is critical to ask couples what they would like and come to! Don’t presume to know what will work for them. For example, which might be better for your couples – a night out without the children, or an event that encourages baby attendance? Ask couples what keeps them from coming to events – time, money, lack of interest? Each reason may require a different response from a pastoral team. Try to schedule events a few times a year, and see what happens. If the ideas come from the parents, and they participate in the planning, there is a greater chance of success.

As we work with families bringing children for Baptism and other sacraments, let’s continue the dialogue with all those involved. Let’s ask how we might help families build households of faith in the midst of our communities. These few suggestions certainly are not exhaustive, they simply point to ways that parishes can use existing sacramental preparation opportunities to help families become more active participants in the life of the Church.