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For families A few years ago Martin Kennedy, working on a Confirmation programme, was doing some research with parents on their needs. From Belfast to Cork the same phrase was repeated consistently. Parents kept saying: "we don't have time". One of the challenges for families is to make time for family, which includes making time for self and for those who are married, making time to foster the marriage. This is where a bit of planning can be helpful – deciding when the family will meet together during the week etc. Family administration is about balance, which, by its nature is easier said that done. Balancing time, balancing finance, and balancing needs in the face of consumer pressure. What is your experience of finding the balance and not fining the balance in managing time, money and energy as a family? Let us know so that we can share it with others. Starting on the first Sunday of Lent 2005 we will be publishing in six weekly instalments a family based administration activity called Count your Blessings. Prepare to have some fun. For parish communities The task for parishes with regard to family administration is to create family friendly parishes, sometimes called bringing a family perspective to parish life. Fr. Michael McGinnity, Director of Family Ministry in the Diocese of Down and Connor offers the following insights on how to create a family-friendly parish. WHAT DOES A FAMILY FRIENDLY PARISH LOOK LIKE? IT KNOWS WHO ITS FAMILIES ARE. It doesn't guess or assume. This means that it has up-to-date information and useful summaries of parish census data available to planners and parish groups. IT FINDS OUT WHAT ITS FAMILIES NEED. It has been said that a parish's great virtue is the caring and generosity of its people. It has also been said that a parish's great vice is proposing answers without bothering to ask the right questions: Is this programme needed? Is this programme helpful to families? A family-friendly parish is one that asks its families what their concerns are before proposing programmes or policies. IT EVALUATES PARISH PROGRAMMES AND POLICIES BASED ON THEIR IMPACT ON FAMILIES. It asks a true cross-section of parish families what difference, if any, a programme or policy makes on their life and faith. And it makes changes based on these evaluations. IT BUILDS FAMILY STRENGTHS. This means many things. It allows families to minister to its own members. It encourages families to minister to other families. It reminds parishioners that strong families don't have to be perfect families. It celebrates family successes as parish successes. IT ALLOWS FAMILIES TO BE FAMILIES. When a parish is busy, drawing family members to meetings or activities too many nights each week, it can actually undermine family life by not allowing them time together, family time. Calling off all parish meetings at least one night a week can be real gift for families. IT MAKES SURE THAT NO PLAN AFFECTING FAMILIES IS MADE WITHOUT INVOLVING PARISH FAMILIES IN THE PLANNING. Many families know more about family life and needs than parish staffs do. IT DOES NOTHING ON THE PARISH GROUNDS THAT CAN BE DONE AS WELL IN ITS NEIGHBOURHOODS. It does not assume that all ministry takes place on the parish grounds. Small groups meeting in parishioners' living rooms are often able to provide a measure of hospitality, comfort, and personal care that large gatherings at the parish cannot offer. IT CREATES PROGRAMMES THAT RESPECT FAMILIES' DIVERSITY. Not all families preparing for Baptism (or Eucharist, Marriage etc) are at the same stage in their development or have the same needs. One-programme-fits-all approaches miss the basic spiritual reality; we grow in faith in different ways, at different paces, facing different needs. Programmes that respect this reality support family life. A FAMILY-FRIENDLY PARISH KNOWS HOW TO BE A GOOD HOST. On average, a third of parish families have a single parent as head of the household. The norm in two-parent families is that both parents work. Some parishioners do not drive. Flexible schedules, baby-sitting services, steps like these communicate inclusiveness and welcome to all its people. IT ASKS THE QUESTION, "WHO NEVER COMES?"… to Sunday Liturgy, to parish activities and programmes…and then it tries to find out why. IT PRAYS WITH AND FOR ITS FAMILIES. Not just for families in general, but for its young singles, its senior members, its divorced, its remarried, its troubled families. IT LETS PARISH FAMILIES KNOW WHAT SERVICES IT OFFERS. It advertises these services regularly. It knows what services others offer to support families. Community services for families in crisis or with chronic needs are often not known to the families most in need of them. This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it your stories of good practice with regard to creating a family-friendly parish. |
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