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I would never say I'm one to shirk from a challenge, so when my friend asked me to go on a 'Search' weekend with her at the end of November, I was all for it. Our college, Garron Tower, is a major host of these young Christian retreat weekends, and we enlisted easily by simply filling in consent forms provided by our college priest, Fr Fitzsimmons. The very fact that Fr Fitzsimmons was helping to co-ordinate this event was enough to entice me to join, as he is one of the most energetic, dynamic- if slightly crazy- persons I have had the privilege to know. As a Spanish and RE teacher (in order of preference!), his life really revolves around young people, and I knew that anything he was involved in was bound to be good craic. However, after extensive research done in the sixth form rec, we 'Search' candidates gained very little insight into what we were letting ourselves in for; all the information that the leaflet provided was bring warm clothes, a sleeping bag- and a sense of humour. The senior pupils were equally facetious: "Ooo- it's all a big secret- we swore not to tell.'' Naturally, our curiosity prickled throughout the week, and by Friday afternoon I seriously began to question what I was letting myself in for. Was it some sort of strange Christian cult and was it really true that some people came back mentally unhinged? I only had to wait until Friday evening to find out. The Search team encompasses many countries throughout the world, and it includes many schools and youth groups within Northern Ireland. Several Belfast schools were attending our Search weekend, such as St Genevieve's and La Salle, so upon arrival we were thrown into a hive of activity. That evening we met our groups for the weekend, complete with two group leaders, and the evening kicked off with daft team exercises and singalongs. We did, however, have time to reflect and meditate before bed, and I was stunned by how the leaders had totally transformed the school- as such, we had entered a totally different environment. Saturday provided answers to many of our questions, and I do believe it was one of the longest days of my life. However, I state that in a good sense, because I went through some incredible experiences that day that I know have deeply affected my outlook on life. I was provided with unique opportunities to come to terms with my spirituality, and at some moments during the day many of us broke down due to the overwhelming sense of our closeness to God. That day, I saw God through the actions and words of others, from both inside and outside my network of friends. Many people reached out to us new candidates in extraordinary ways that quite dumbfounded me. I could not begin to retell the most special moment to the day for me, suffice to say that I saw myself properly for the first time, and I felt very humbled, and a little strange. I think one of the key things that I learned through listening to, and watching others, was how to listen to myself. The Search leaders and speakers really reinforced the message that life is all about what we take out of it. When I learned how to listen to myself, I could hear God very plainly. One of the most surreal experiences of my life will be the hour I spent in our transformed gymnasium, praying, reflecting, going to confession, and chatting about my future with a remarkable nun, Sister Anne. That was the first time I had felt so close to God and to think back on it now still physically overwhelms me. Undoubtedly, I would urge every young Christian adult to get involved with 'Search'. I think the sense of secrecy is a huge part of the appeal, and I hope I have not given too much away, but I can reassure any young person that there are some activities, which, as teenagers, we can relate very well too! Of course, I have refused to tell my other friends anything about it- hopefully they can see how it affected me. Amy Mulvenna December 2005 |
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