Interviewing People Who Are Struggling
Significant numbers of people are leaving the Catholic Church.  Why is this happening? 

One way to find out is to let people tell their own stories.  Throughout the summer we have been interviewing people for a new book, the working title of which is The Catholic Dilemma – Remain or Move On: A Resource for Parish Renewal.  Our purpose was to listen to those who are struggling with the Church and to discover why some are deciding to remain active while others are moving on to something else.  Of the 43 interviews we have completed so far, 19 of them were with those who are “moving on.”  What follows is a sampling from their stories.  The November Newsletter will offer insights from those who are “remaining.”  

Topics That Focused The Conversation
People had an opportunity to choose from a list of ten topics around which to tell their story.  Some picked “Women’s Issues” as the primary cause of their frustration with the Catholic Church.  A married couple described their growing discontent:  “Our Church family is where we were born.  We’ve both been raised Catholic and were very active in the local parish.  It is easy to say we have had every position available to laity at our parish.  But as time went on, the ‘table’ was less and less welcoming to women.”  Others chose “Social Justice” as their focus.  “I didn’t leave the Church, the Church left me.  By ‘Church’ I mean both locally and the hierarchy, what they say and what they do.  Their principles and mine got farther and farther apart.  I didn’t hear much about sharing with others but more about doctrines and rules related to women’s issues and sexuality.”  The focus for others was on “Authority.”  “How can I remain in a Church, I came to realize, that condemns homosexual behavior, doesn’t give women equal rights and covers up misguided behavior by priests?”  But “Moving On” has its drawbacks.  One person lamented, “I have grown close to the people in my parish community; that has been a large part of my life.  If I don’t go to Mass anymore I won’t see these people.  My relationship with them changes.  I have to figure out how to maintain these friendships without attending Mass, meetings and parish social events.  Either that, or I have to find another community to become part of.”

What Can A Parish Do?
Besides asking people the reasons they have left the Catholic Church, we also asked their ideas about what a parish might do when it encounters others with similar attitudes and experiences as themselves.  “I think the best thing that a parish can do is listen,” one person remarked.  Another added, “If someone does come back to church once and awhile, be inclusive, be welcoming and make no comments such as ‘Where have you been?’  No judging, just accepting.  That makes all of the difference.”  Foster small groups was another person’s suggestion, where “there are no requirements to stand up and recite things in unison, no pledges against this or that.  None of that is part of our small sharing group.”  Make room for new people was another possibility.  “Sometimes long-time volunteers are stuck in their jobs.  They need to let go and encourage new involvement.”  Someone else cautioned that “it all depends on who is the pastor,” and went on to say, “Good pastors are a part of the parish community.  They not only preach ‘Good News,’ they are among the people as public figures in the parish and within the surrounding neighborhood community.”

How does it feel to be “moving on?”  “‘Just fine’ and ‘not so good’ all wrapped up together,” a person explained.  “I will never be able to give up my Catholic identity; it is too much of who I am.  I look forward to exploring other options to nourish my spirituality and to being part of communities that are willing to engage in the discussion and the process of making decisions that are in sync with the common good and with social teachings.”

Mrs. Wendy Rappé & Tom Sweetser, SJ
www.pepparish.org
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Parish Newsletter - October 2011
A Service of the Parish Evaluation Project
Milwaukee, Wisconsin